In the Hard and Holy

Nothing prepared me for the way I would fall in love with him.

Given only the barest details of his life and situation, I felt a pull toward him that I could not describe. The yes rolled off my tongue as if it had been decided even before the question had been asked.

“Yes. He’s welcome in our home.”

Only days after meeting him, I knew I was a goner. His clever eyes and mischievous smirk got me hook, line, and sinker.

Our journey would be long, hard, and treacherous, but it would also be filled with laughter, affection, and joy.

“Hard and holy.”

That’s how my friend describes it.

In the end, the grief of losing him knocked the wind straight out of my lungs.

And right there, in the middle of the hardest season of my life, I found the holy.

Bill Johnson says it like this, “In heaven there won’t be any pain, confusion, or loss. So I embrace my moment of pain now and give Him praise in the midst of it. That’s an offering I’ll never have a chance to give Him in heaven.”

Isn’t that amazing? That we, as mere humans, have the ability to offer God something that can’t even be given by angels?

So we begin again.

We say yes again.

We endure the hard, and we are grateful for the holy.

We sacrifice the unique earthly offering of praise in the midst of pain.

Because when our hearts break, we find God right there, near the brokenhearted.


“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”
Psalm 34:18 (MSG)